Jonners' Canterbury Tales

Weekly Be on Plane Travel

Posted on June 20, 2006 by jonners99

What to do while sitting seven hours in a seat that reclines two inches while your knees knock against a seat two inches from your stomach and vile cheerful people chuck vile steaming plates of mush and a grape at you:

- Read Tsotsi and Breakfast at Tiffany’s in their entirety and write film reviews (or think about writing film reviews… or write one and think about the other).

- Discover your ipod has four games, none of which you can beat past the level one.

- Glance furtively at the cooking magazine the French guy next to you is reading. Hope he isn’t doing the same to you, as your diary is open on your lap.

- Miss the beginning of King Kong, miss your favourite part of Hoodwinked, and see the end of a film you’ve been meaning to watch, but in the proper suspenseful order.

- Hope neither the French guy or the fat old dude try to talk to you, as it is awkward to strike up conversation, run out of things to say, and be unable to wander away for the next six and a half hours.

- Forget ipod is on repeat so you’ve just listened to the same song 17 times and lost level one 17 times.

- Take the battery out of your phone so you don’t. in a fit of boredom, call someone you love and cause the radar to stutter and thereby send yourself, the French guy, the fat old guy, and the vile cheerful people spinning into the Atlantic in a fiery conflagration.

- Make up your own word search, and then ponder the lameness of solving it yourself.

- Get blurry eyes and a headache from lack of sleep, a constant whirring grumble, reading a whole book in one go, and being homesick for two countries at once.